Is it disrespectful??

I’ll admit, it’s not the common situation I have going on, and some would call it down right “special”, but it works for us, and most importantly, our kids are happy.

Being a single woman, who would like to embark on marriage again someday, it’s difficult to find a man who is secure enough to deal with my family dynamics. Men who struggle in their own situations, especially, have a hard time understanding how to separate the personal aspect of how I co-parent, from the fact that the focus is truly the child. They become territorial, and intrusive. Not understanding that my family dynamics is as non-negotiable to me as changing my religion would be for the sake of pleasing someone else.

Is it disrespectful that my 10 year old’s father comes to my house and hangs out for a few minutes as he picks up or drops off his son? I work some Saturdays and he’ll be coming to pick our son up for the weekend. If it’s early enough, my son is still half asleep, so should he honk
The horn from the driveway, or meet him curbside, so that another man feel secure about his relationship WITH ME!?! Sorry, but I don’t think so.

I know it’s hard juggling family and personal life. I get it! Everything is not for everybody. Today’s message to you is …. It is OK to set boundaries in your relationships, and to stand firm in what you believe to be right. No one has the right to come into your situation, IF ITS WORKING, and change
It for their own gratification. Your children, and they’re feelings, should never be compromised in your transition from single to whatever arrangement you find yourself in. Respect is relative. YOU set the playing field and the person who wants to be with you will have to know that he can change your game, as easy as he can make you eat that pork chop if you were Muslim!!


2 thoughts on “Is it disrespectful??

  1. Now this I can relate to. I became involved with a man who had no children and I don’t think he ever truly understood the obligation of being a parent. Although he loved my children he could not always relate to the organization and dedication that had to be put into single parenting not to mention the effort that would be needed to uproot them. He certainly did not get how much emotional support is needed when you bring someone into your life and your family situation. I too want to find the one, but will need to do so putting my children first. Disrupting their life will never be an option. Their adjustment and happiness is paramount.

    • Good for you! So many women get caught up compromising their kids, for the sake of having a relationship. We don’t get a second chance at doing this parenting thing, and even though we’ll never be perfect, we sure can do the best we can. I always say that I’m a mother first, and a woman second.

      It’s hard when you have someone who could be a good mate if you only had YOU to consider, but they’re just not a good fit when you consider the kids.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s